Guiding Questions
Sometimes life presents us with challenging interpersonal situations. Maybe we have a conflict at work; maybe we have a disagreement with a friend, family member, or significant other; or maybe the conflict is within and we are trying to figure out the next step in some part of our lives.
During these moments, it is easy to fall into certain patterns. We may become overly “active” in our lives and try to take control of as many things as we can, in an attempt to cultivate a sense of safety. On the other hand, if we aren’t sure what to do and the next steps are unclear, we may take on an overly “passive” role in the name of “going with the flow” – only we aren’t making any active steps of our own; rather, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled by outside circumstances.
So what do we do when we’re trying to find the balance?
Sorry to disappoint you – but I unfortunately don’t have the answer! But before you stop reading – perhaps there are some questions we can ask ourselves to guide us to that place of balance, where we can work our way through challenging situations with a higher central goal in mind.
Here some questions we can begin with:
-What is life asking of me right now? How am I being asked to grow?
-What is this experience trying to teach me?
-How can I make love the central focus of this situation, as opposed to being “right” or having everyone agree with me?
-What is the most loving and compassionate thing that I can do in this moment?
-How can I forgive myself when I don’t quite meet that standard of total compassion (which will likely be often)? How do I summon the courage to try again, even if my pride and ego have gotten in the way before?