Conditions for Learning

“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”  -Willa Cather

I have always lived my life as if I can avert disaster from happening.  If I can prevent failure, I’d reason, then everything will be rosy and nothing surprising or painful will happen (or at least not that often).  That way, I can spend my days skipping in the sunshine, calm and without a care in the world.

In short, I have spent my life striving to avoid pain of any kind.  Many of us live like this, whether or not we realize it.

But the truth is, tough times surface in our lives despite our best efforts.  We may be diligently watching over our relationships, finances, and other responsibilities, but suddenly things come crashing down anyways.  We may lose a loved one, a job, a relationship, a house, our pride, or our sense of stability – or if things are really rough, we may lose more than one of these things at the same time.

Nobody knows why this happens.  But maybe Ms. Cather was onto something – perhaps certain conditions are necessary for us to learn what we need to learn.  Tranquility may be conducive to learning certain important lessons we need to carry forward into our future.  On the other hand, stress, confusion, and exhaustion may be best for absorbing other truths necessary to make wise decisions later on.

We can strive all we want to avoid pain and failure – but beyond an (unknown) point, our efforts to control what befalls us are in vain.  There is simply no way that we can guarantee total and perfect peace for anyone on this earth.  Something will always slip through the cracks – maybe we will neglect an important detail, or we simply aren’t aware of everything necessary to avert disaster.  And that’s OK.  In fact, this process may even be necessary for us to grow closer to who we truly are.

So if a period of bitterness enters your life despite your best efforts, perhaps it is because those conditions are necessary for the ripening of certain qualities within you – qualities that will be instrumental in helping you discard the parts of yourself that you have outgrown, so that you can move forward with greater wisdom.

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